THE BEST INFLUENCE IS A SOFT ANSWER

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”—Proverbs 15:1

Many individuals think that the best way to influence people and to manipulate them into their way of doing things is through angry and harsh words.  A wide variety of reasons exists for this type of behavior; in fact, anger can be influenced by such things as, inherited physical disorders, demonic activity or lack of self-control.  I knew an individual that thought he had the right to treat people with disrespect through anger because he held an economic advantage over them.  Such was the case with Nabal when he encountered David, as recorded in 1 Samuel 25.

“Now there was a man in Maon whose business was in Carmel, and the man was very rich.  He had three thousand sheep and a thousand goats.  And he was shearing his sheep in Carmel.  The name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail.  And she was a woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance; but the man was harsh and evil in his doings.  He was of the house of Caleb” (vs.1-2).  

This was “harvest time” for a sheep rancher.  Because it was like “harvest time,” by ancient traditions, sheep shearing time was a time of lavish hospitality towards others. We read that Nabal was harsh and evil in his doing which needs no further explanation.  His wife, Abigail, was a woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance.  She was both wise and beautiful.  The Bible gives Abigail great praise when it says was of beautiful appearance, because the only other women who have this Hebrew phrase applied to them are Rachel, in Genesis 29:7, and Esther, in Esther 2:7. 

In verses 4-9, David asks for compensation for his valuable service to Nabal.

When David heard in the wilderness that Nabal was shearing his sheep, David sent ten young men; and David said to the young mne, ‘Go up to Carmel, go to Nabal, and greet him in my name. And thus you shall say to him who lives in prosperity: Peace be to you, peace to your house, and peace to all that you have! Now I have heard that you have shearers. Your shepherds were with us, and we did not hurt them, nor was there anything missing from them all the while they were in Carmel. Ask you young men, and they will tell you. Therefore let my young men find favor in your eyes, for we come on a feast day. Please give whatever comes to your hand to your servants and to your son David.’ So when David’s young men cam, they spoke to Nabal according to all these words in the name of David, and waited.”   

 

David made a request of Nabal: “Please give whatever comes to your hand to your servants and to your son David.”  David makes this request because he had performed a valuable service for Nabal, serving as protection for his flocks in a time when Philistine raids were common.  David protected Nabal’s shepherds and flocks for a long time, but did not expect to be compensated until Nabal himself made his money at the “harvest” of sheep shearing.  Notice that David was polite to Nabal, and that he did not intimidate him; furthermore, his greeting was warm and cordial.  (David sent ten young men, and said peace be to you).  David politely reminded Nabal of the traditions of generosity surrounding harvest and sheep shearing time.  He did not demand any specific payment from Nabal, but left it up to his generosity (“Please give whatever comes to hand”). 

 

“Then Nabal answered David’s servants, and said, ‘Who is David, and who is the son of Jesse? There are many servants nowadays who break away each one from his master. Shall I then take my bread and my water and my meat that I have killed for my shearers, and give it to men when I do not know where they are from?’ So David’s young men turned on their heels and went back; and they came and told him all these words’ (vs. 10-12).

 

Because David was famous all throughout Israel, Nabal insulted David by asking who he was, and refusing to recognize him.  The insult went deeper when he said that David was a rebellious servant.   Because David had continually conducted himself wisely when attacked by Saul, this was completely false.    Finally, Nabal showed what an ungenerous man he was by looking at everything he owned as his, instead of the LORD’S. 

David receives Nabal’s response exactly the way Nabal intended it to be received, with great insult.  But Nabal is not dealing with a weak, rebellious servant; he is dealing with a great soldier and warrior.  “Then David said to his men, ‘Every man gird on his sword.’ So every man girded on his sword, and David also girded on his sword. And about four hundred men went with David, and two hundred stayed with the supplies’ (vs. 13).  David is not coming to Nabal just to make a statement; he is coming to wipe him out.  That is why he arms himself and his men, and leaves men behind to guard the supplies and serve as reinforcements. 

 One of Nabal’s servants came to Abigail and reported to her how Nabal responded to David’s request.   When the servant used the word “revile” in his report, he was saying that her husband treated David with contemptuous language.  He went on to say that David and his men provided a valuable service to them, by protecting them.  This lets Abigail know that David and his men deserved compensation, and without her intercession they would all likely die because no one could reason with Nabal (vs. 14-17). 

Knowing that time was of the essence, and that something had to be done immediately, Abigail quickly gathered up 200 loaves of bread, 2 skins of wine, 5 sheep that were already dressed, 5 pecks of corn, 100 clusters of raisins, and 200 cakes of figs, and loaded them on donkeys.  She sent her servants ahead of her, but she did not tell her husband what she was doing (vs. 18-19). 

David’s feelings were hurt by what Nabal had said to him.  He thought that he had been wronged by Nabal.  In fact, David said, “He has repaid me evil for good.”  David’s reaction to this hurt was his intention to massacre Nabal all of the household males; however, David’s heart was pliable and when Abigail appeals to him with a soft answer David changes his mind (vs. 21- 35). “So David received from her hand what she had brought him, and said to her, ‘Go up in peace to your house. See, I have heeded your voice and respected your person” (Emphases added).

Because of the hilly terrain Abigail remained hidden from David until the time that she met him face-to-face.  David and his men were coming in a highly agitated and angry state of mind, and then something every unexpected happened and brings them to a complete stop.  A beautiful woman is bowing down, in humility, before David, and following her was a great procession of gifts.  Notice that Abigail does not make her appeal to David as a superior, but she comes to David as a humble servant.  She asked that David look at the bigger picture, and to let the Lord settle the matter, instead of taking vengeance into his own hands.  Abigail emphasized David’s calling and destiny and the integrity of his life and asked for his forgiveness.  David thanked God for Abigail’s appeal, and received her advice; he trusted the Lord God of Israel to take care of Nabal.  And God did (vs. 36-38). 

 

Today’s devotion is a stark contrast between a soft answer and one that is cruel, callous, and inconsiderate.  We saw the results of each.  Each answer shaped the future of the giver and receiver.  In one, a heart that was pliable and willing to yield to God; the other, a heart that was harden and unwilling to yield.  David went on to fulfill his future as king of Israel and Nabal died with a hard heart.

Prayer—Father I ask you to forgive me for the times that I have spoken a hash answer.  I ask that You help me in those times that I may feel pressed and stressed to be patient and give and answer that reflects You, in Jesus Name. Amen.